Thursday, October 3, 2013

I am Obamacare

I'd like to tell you I'm indignant and angry
indignant and angry are easier to handle than the emotions I'm having
I keep hearing how terrible Affordable Health Care is
I have two friends who are small business owners
for some reason their voice has more significance than mine
their situation more dire
they. are. wiser. and. more. important.
I have heard their discussions on health care, on what it will do to their business
on how it might "seem like they have the money to afford the change," but they don't.

I won't claim to know anyone's finances
but I can't really stomach crying about a decrease in income, when
my story has yet to be told
When I lost my vision I was working two jobs
I was also raising two kids and trying to keep a roof over their heads
one of my jobs offered insurance
and because of my previous heart surgery
I had to select the most expensive insurance they offered
I was paying over $400 per month in insurance
I was making less than $1000 before taxes (at that job)
I was not getting food stamps, welfare, or any benefits
Some days, I would leave for work at 8am and get home at 4am
I am not lazy
I do not believe I am entitled and you should work to pay for me
I took two weeks off when I had my son, rather than the 6 I should have
I am willing to work hard, very hard
I am willing to take a job some would think is, "beneath me," in order to feed my children and be independent
I am not a welfare queen
So when I hear about the masses of lazy people taking hand outs and destroying this great country of ours
it doesn't make me angry
it doesn't make me indignant
that would be better
it hurts
I have to take heart medication each and everyday
if I don't my heart stops beating
previous to the change in health care, I would be denied insurance because of my condition
even after pre-existing condition laws were changed, I had to put nearly half of what I was making into health care
I could not pay for health care and food and housing
I would on my own if I could
but I couldn't
so, when you gripe about the changes and the cost
please, seriously, for one moment
just remember I didn't choose to be sick
I didn't choose any of this
and I'm not looking for a hand out
I just happen to know that while working and working very hard
I had to make a choice
food, heat, homelessness or death
something is wrong with that
the health insurance system is making money hand over fist
while I am making the hard choice between buying groceries or buying heart medicine?
something is wrong with that
and I am frankly really sad that everyone seems to make the people who need health care reform
the villan
I think if all the rhetoric were gone
the real problem would be the way insurance companies have been allowed to run
sadly, I don't have a powerful lobby to spin my story
so I am the problem
If you are reading this and believe I am the exception to the rule
you are being duped by spin doctors and you are being duped into doing exactly what big business wants you to do
and that all makes me really sad
I've had enough doctors, enough shot of steroids in my eyes, enough battling for my life, enough sick from chemo, enough hopes dashed, enough ocular migraines, enough pain, enough fear.  I don't need your misplaced anger too.

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