To Supertiff on her last day before turning 30

Dear Supertiff:
Turning 30 is a big point in a woman's life. Many look it as a sad time because their youth and beauty are fading, blah, blah, blah. I could not disagree more. Turning 30 to me offered a freedom I'd never felt before and I hope it offers you the same.
I was a young Mommy. And for much of my 20's very uncomfortable in my own shoes. It felt as if there was always an asterisk next to me. "Hello, I'm Aimee...you might think I'm good looking but I'd rather you notice how smart I am. Or you might think I'm smart but when I tell you I'm a single Mom you're going to think something else of me."
At 30 it stops being about your looks and that is freeing. At 30, I don't need to explain anything. If I sound smart when we talk people don't act as surprised. I am free to talk about my children without feeling like a sloot or at least that you might think I'm a sloot.
For you on your 30th, I hope you gain a certain happiness and okay-ness with who you are. I hope you run into people you knew from a long time ago and say, "I'm Tiffany. I'm a server at a restaurant." And I hope you're okay with that. No need to explain, no need to make excuses. This is you. This is what you're doing right now, and that's enough. It will be enough. Turning 30 is not about leaving goals and dreams behind. It is about not being ashamed that you haven't reached them yet. It's about being okay with where you are on the path and having the confidence to know that you are pushing forward and you will get there in good time.
You, like me, Supertiff, will never be a normal do things the right way girl. Maybe it's because the right way is so boring or maybe we are simply screwy. Who knows. But the thing I noticed lately is that people who did things the right way in their 20's end up starting over in their 30's. They went to college, got married, bought a house, had kids and now, in their 30's are divorced and starting at square one. Not that I am comparing myself, but I believe I had the wisdom to know that path would not work for me before I took it. I realized I would be divorced, realized the American dream was not mine and never did things the traditional way. I think you know this about yourself too. And I think when you hit your 30's you will start to feel good that you did not succumb to society's expectations and get married and have kids when it was not right for you. Maybe someday. Maybe next year. Who knows? But doing it when it is right is way better than doing it because you think you're supposed to.
In my 30's I was able to stop looking at others with envy because somehow the 30's is a great equalizer. Pretty fades. Smart shines. Right becomes wrong and right for you becomes most important. As a woman in my 30's I am starting to really understand what is important to me. And I am starting to learn how to put that above all else. I am able to stop striving for what I don't want anyway and start striving for what makes me happy. 30 has been very good to me so far. And I hope it is to you too. I guess I really started to know myself above what I felt others might think of me. In your 30's I hope you can toss that aside too. Screw what others think. Do what works for you. If what you are doing doesn't make you happy, the 30's should offer you the confidence to go for what does make you happy without fear. If all you want to do is write, than Tiffany, WRITE. If you want a normal day job, than go for that. If you want to live in Paris, work in a cafe and ride a motorcycle, do it. But you are in your 30's. And that means nobody but you can stop you. Because the only opinion now that matters, is your own.
You have a huge amount of freedom and the world is your to own. You have survived some major changes. And I believe those changes are fitting for a girl about to turn 30. You have symbolically broken free from your childhood. Now use your 30's to break free from your childhood fears and live your life like you want to.
The big point here is that I learned something in my 30's. It was that being a grown up has nothing to do with the job I hold or how smart or attractive I am. Being a grown up means being happy with the person I am. And if I'm not happy with that, having the confidence to change what I need to change and keep what I need to keep. My big birthday wish for you Tiffany, is that you learn to be happy with who you are. Once that happens, the rest will fall right into place because the opinion you will hear the loudest is the one that is most important; your own.

Happy Birthday Old Lady!
XOXO
Aimee

***Stop by and wish Supertiff a happy 30th****