Flaring

I've really tried to avoid Gluten for I think two months now
and my daily symptoms are much better
though I don't feel like I've gained any weight yet

However,
I am flaring this week
its not horrible
but it does make me want to curl up on the couch
swallow a bottle of anti-inflam meds
and return to life after its over
A flare a year ago meant I could not walk
could not get myself to the bathroom
could not breathe the pain was so bad
today it is an ache
sharp pain in my left hip
and aches in every joint down my legs to my toes
it is hot throbbing pain, like a tooth ache in my joints
I don't want to move and I am utterly exhausted
I fell asleep at 9:30 PM
and could still sleep all day

It is to be expected
because the doctors say
it will take ten years to heal the damage done to my body
at least
the good news is it can be healed
the bad news is I will have to deal with these flares
hopefully they get easier as time goes on
I know they don't happen with the same frequency
I was getting them nearly once a month two years ago
and the only bright spot I had
was if they kept damaging my hips
I'd have to get my hips replaced before I was 50
which means I'd get the really good fake hips
and this certainly isn't as bad as the time I begged Aaron to kill me
on the ride to the hospital for the 2nd time that day
if they couldn't make the pain go away

and he knew how bad it was
or how out of my mind in pain I was
because he agreed
and the fact that one way or another
I was going to be out of pain
made me feel much better